


You only want to socialize, but I don't think we should

by Carimus



Category: South Park
Genre: Accidental Kissing, Angst, F/F, F/M, Love, M/M, Those damned hats, Wrong person
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-08-26 21:38:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16689343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carimus/pseuds/Carimus
Summary: Tweek kisses Craig, but Craig is actually Stan. Chaos of feelings and emotions insue. Dedicated to Pete_my_guy on insta!





	1. Can’t listen, Can’t focus

Huh. Since when did they sell these stupid blue hats anywhere near my dad? Now everyone is going to be talking shit about how I'm copying Craig. God, I fucking hate my dad.

"Stan?"

First, he moves out to the country.

"Stan!"

Then he makes all this stupid hemp shit! Can't I just have a normal lif-

"STAN"

Stan jumped in surprise.   
  
"Yeah?"

Kyle glared at him and sighed, sitting down.

"Did you seriously not hear a word I said? Whatever. Anyways, Cartman's gang, a.k.a. us, is gonna be sitting with Craig's gang today to discuss that huge group project we have for debate. Since almost everyone is in that class. So, that means no sulking around Wendy and Bebe today okay?"

Stan blushed at Kyle's latter comment but shook his head.

"Since when is it Cartman's gang? I thought I was the leader?"

Kyle gave Stan a look.

"Dude lately you've been obsessed with the Lesbian Manifesto and wishing you were Bebe. And to be honest, Cartman is the one who usually comes up with shit for us to do."

Stan was going to share his rebuttal, when the Devil himself walked in.

"Did some Jew say my name? My dick is burning."

And in ten seconds flat, Kyle had tackled and pinned Cartman to the ground.   
  
"Listen here you fat fuck, you're only allowed to call me "Jew" in German, and if your dick is burning so bad, let's cut it off!"

Cartman blushed and kissed Kyles jaw, smiling.

"Feisty Jude. Wann werden wir den Hippie aufgeben? Ich brauche dich böse Sheyn."

Kyle's entire face turned red and he got off of Cartman and helped him up.

"So uh S-Stan, we uh gotta go fu-finish! Finish studying for chemistry! B-bye dude!"

Stan watched as Kyle fumbled to grab his jacket and dart away with Cartman in tow.

"But you guys don't even have the same chem class..."

Stan left that thought right where it stood. Stan instead headed to the study room. Not many other people had 1st period free, so he was content to listen to music with the 7 other people in the room. It seemed Cartman and Kyle never made it though. One of the seven people walked up to him. It was Kenny.

"Hey Marsh. How's it going?"

Kenny smiled and sat beside Stan.

"Eh, nothing much. I uh think Cartman and Kyle might be.. might be.. fuc-"

Stan gagged and almost vomited.

"There, there vomit boy, they probably are fucking, but let's talk about you okay?"

Stan wiped the spit off his mouth and nodded.   
  
"How's stalking Wendy and Bebe going?"

Stan went beet red.

"I'm not stalking them!!! I'm just looking at them! G-gosh! I don't follow them home or anything!"

Kenny howled with laughter.

"I'm just joking dude! Relax. I know it hit you hard when Wendy dumped you for Bebe, but look at the bright side; some hot lesbian action everyday!"

Stan glared at Kenny and punched his arm.

"Don't say that! That's so, so, dehumanizing!"

Kenny smiled knowingly. 

"Heh you still have feelings for her don't you?"

Stan blushed and pushed Kenny away.

"Just lemme listen to my music dude!"

Kenny held his hands up in defeat and got up.

"Whatever you say loverboy!"

Kenny ran off before Stan could punch him again.

"St-stupid Kenny."

Stan started listening to his music and did some of his math homework until the bell for 1st lunch rang. He stood up and headed to the cafeteria. He made it to the table a little later than the guys and everyone except Craig and Kenny were there. He sat down between Tweek and Token and took out his lunch. Stan had recently gotten a pretty cool lunchbox. It was fitted with different constellations and planets. It held alot of food too. This was the one exception to his dad's unending stupidity. It was only a moment after putting his lunch down did someone grab him by his face. Stan went to struggle, but then soft, smooth lips were against his. Stan's eyes closed, and he leaned in. But Stan snapped back when a tongue came into play.

Stan jumped up and out of his seat in shock.

Lips burning, face flushed, and all eyes on him, he looked at the shocked face of his kisser.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> German translation:  
> Feisty Jew. When will we ditch the hippie? I need you bad Sheyn.


	2. My focus is fractured

Stan looked at Tweek in shock and held his hand up to the lips the blonde had just taken in a sort of holy matrimony. To be honest Stan had no idea how it was a holy matrimony. His mind was reeling and spinning from shock, arousal, confusion, and some strange fluttery feeling. Panic maybe? He opened his mouth to say something, but Tweek bolted out of the lunch room his voice squeaking.

"I-I gotta go!"

Stan tried running after Tweek, but he'd disappeared and Stan couldn't find him. Stan continued walking until he stumbled upon the back of the school. He slid down the grey wall and rummaged through his backpack. He pulled out a clear water bottle filled with, not surprisingly water.

"Emergency stash."

Stan twisted about 1/4 of the way down, right before the plastic label. The water bottle unscrewed to reveal a golden brown liquid.

"Taste hell when you feel like hell."

Stan knocked back the drink and slumped back against the wall. Stan's face flushed and he started eating his lunch. And while a turkey sandwich could only take you so far, this one was exceptional. Well paired with booze and a cheese stick. A gourmet lunch for sure. It was really funny how Tweek thought he could just run away. Stupid blondie. They had chemistry together. And that was the next period! Part of Stan fancied having more than just chemistry class with Tweek, but surely that was the drink talking. Because if it wasn't, well that's a whole other emotional train wreck to deal with. Stan finished his lunch a few moments before the bell rang. He got to packing up and headed to chem. A broad, but soft shoulder bumped into Stan. He looked to his side to find the soft, pudgy faced Cartman.

"Hey Cartman."

Cartman smiled. His smiles always seemed so pure.

"Stan! So um how was the kiss?"

Stan flushed at Cartman's forwardness. Seems his intentions still aren't! 

"I..um..good?"

Cartman smiled wider. Stan cringed internally. What hell did he just unleash? 

"That's great! You might have you something going on there!"

Cartman left Stan, mouth open, and walked into class. No other intentions? Just Eric wanting him to...date....Tweek? Stan was baffled. Tweek? Him? Together? But wasn't Tweek in love with Craig? Honestly it wasn't like Stan hadn't imagined him and Tweek together. Going back to the whole asian girls incident, that had him imagining what it would be like if he was in Craig's place for a whole two weeks. Impressive for a fourth grader's attention span. Stan sighed. He should just try to stay calm and not be awkward. Stan firmly gripped the handle and entered chem.

"Alright class, today we're pairing up for a lab! Three to a pair! Okay now, Tweek you're with Eric and Stan, Token you're with Clyde and Red, Wendy you're with Bebe and Heidi, Scott you're with Butters and Kenny. Oh um Kevin go ahead and pair with Token's group."

Shit. It really couldn't get worse for him could it? Stan was already freaking out. Now he has to sit near the guy? So much for that criticism about Tweek running away from problems. Everyone shuffled around the classroom, and thankfully Eric sitting between Stan and Tweek.

"Okay. Go ahead and open your work books and start working on creating the tiny sustained explosion. Wear your safety goggles if you don't want to end up like Addie okay?"

As per usual, everyone's gaze went to the chemically blinded girl sitting to the far right of the teacher.

"Yeah...don't wanna end up like me I guess."

Everyone then promptly went back to starting their projects. Eric opened the book and started explaining the different concepts and chemicals while Stan kinda zoned out. Stan was extremely nervous. What the fuck was there to say? Should he act like it didn't happen? No. He needed answers. But everyone could hear them if Tweek started to freak out or if he started to freak out. So here was too risky. Stan must've really zoned out because he almost didn't notice when Eric booped his nose.

"Stan? You there?"

I nodded. Eric smiled at Stan and started instructing.

"Okay Stan! Please grab that white powder and the spoon, Tweek grab the red liquid and the yellow powder, I'll grab the blue powder. We have to put them in one after another. Blue first, then yellow,  and then white and the red liquid at the same time! Okay? Let's start!"

Eric smiles as he pours in the blue powder, looking at Stan as Tweek shakily dumps in the yellow packet. Stan looks away, a slight blush warming his face. Then it comes to the high stress situation. Stan and Tweek both hesitate for a second, looking at each other, and then pour in the designated chemicals. Their hands brushed together and both of them jerked back, accidentally splashing some of the mixture on Cartman's face.

"Ahrgsh FUck!"

Cartman's initial yell turns into a high pitched shriek as he claws at his face. Luckily the mixture missed his eyes thanks to his safety goggles. Stan quickly hands Cartman a clean towel and Cartman whimpers in pain, tears streaming down his face. The mixture was acidic and had partially eaten through the second layer of skin. His hands were also damaged from trying to wipe it off without assistance. Cartman sobbed, his whole body shaking. He softly called for Kyle, collapsing and falling to the floor. Soon, Cartman was taken to the nurses office,  and apparently word gets out quick, because soon enough Kyle was running down the hall, presumably to see him. Stan watched Kyle run, eventually turning around to stare at the recent emotional stressor.  
And then,

there was two. 


End file.
